I do not ask… – Aus der Naivitätensammlung

24 07 2017

I do not ask the God to make me strong,

For there’s away to take myself in hand.

And when I make mistakes or do some wrong,

I do not ask Him to protect or to prevent.

 

I think that Lord has more important deeds,

He has no time to nurse and pamper me.

He knows, he sees, sometimes he even leads –

I don’t divert, I just correct my sins.

2008





If I were gone…

23 08 2015

If I were gone one chilly morning,

The coroner would find inside

Veins drenched in art, my brain unplugged

And butterflies instead of heart.





Batter me…

19 08 2015

Batter me, better me, bed with me,

Challenge me out of sleep,

Force me into a weep,

Reckless, courageous, deep

Sacredness of a blaspheme.

.

Fight with me, flout me and fly with me,

Shatter my slumbering heart,

Swinging from heavy to hard.

Let me invent you in art.

Burst me, my muse, to be.





I starved my soul…

17 08 2015

I starved my soul to mental anorexia,

Denying it food for months and months, and months

day by day,

peu à peu,

bit by bit.

Don´t take too much, sweet darling!

Don´t run that far,

be meek and petty,

finish the duty first

before you waste your time on creativity

of thought,

and hand

and feeling…

Don´t drift too far now

that you have found an anchor

to hold and to be held in bed at night.

There, there! No childish tears

here,

take a handkerchief!

Don´t be pathetic! Now,

why can´t you shut your restless eyes

effectively

and rest a bit? – forever –

… Oh, soo loong slumber has it been!

How comes I know no mass, poor stupid thing I am?

If I should go for bond and steadiness,

Well then I should be steady, mind no further mental cause

but how to polster best that little holy world of matrimonial oyster-shell of joy.

Why can´t I be as others are?

The soul too restless, and the mind too greedy tear me

from what my sense of social roles demand from me,

and

being

double,

triple,

multiple inside,

I´m full, but starving,

deaf, but hearing things

With cold numb fingertips I try to touch

here and there and over there

and end up

Being good at nothing.





If Beethoven didn´t exist

31 07 2015

There is this great fashion to post something pseudosmart in the social networks, opening the whole post, of whichever depth and quality, with some sort of apocalyptic vision:

„Imagine the world without classical literature/drama/piano music/Nirvana/Beatles“ etc.

My „best ever“ so far has been a post on violin versions of popular Rock melodies, starting with an invitation to imagine how the world had sounded, if (NB!) „violin players would have destroyed all other musical instruments“. I have never thought the Instrumental guys are that brutal, you know.

In any case, such posts attempt to sell convey all the same message: the reader should break down and cry, earth-shattered by the author´s wisdom forced upon them, repent and find their way back to the heavenly Grace of „superior“ Art: „proper“ books, films, music etc.

The problem I have with those self-appointed moralist „Flagellants_2.0“ is my earnest belief that no one can be forced into virtue (whatever it be). The genuine acceptance of values, wisdoms, virtues – but also of errors, mistakes and alike – comes via one’s own experience on one’s own bare skin (or soul) – and definetely not through some pseudosmart sayings.

And I am by no means a person of authority at deciding what is right and what is wrong, and what belongs to good or bad taste. I speak three languages and yet often switch to suboptimal slang, neglecting the beauty and richness of the Standard register. I have been shameless enough to write to Benedict Anderson after I have found some inconsistency in his Imagined Communities and yet I ordered the three so-far published Travis-novels by Kleypas. Or I watch some highly dramatic films like Little Children and then SpongeBob with comparable pleasure.

I have discovered Beethoven. For myself, I mean. If there happens to be someone who has read my blog since its first days, you might remember my excitement about Gould’s version of the 14th Sonate. Recently it was the Allegretto from the 7th Symphony. If one could choose a soundtrack for one’s perception of something, this Allegretto would be my soundtrack for History as a discipline. Really. I don’t know how on Earth it is possible that a dead deaf Romanticist brings an educated neo-liberal Foucaultian scepticist into cry. Beethoven does.

Coming back to the pseudosmart sayings, here is one from me: if Beethoven did not exist, one should invent him.

Symphony 7, Movement 2. Furtwängler, Berliner Philarmoniker, 1943





Funny linguistics. Standing in your shoes

21 11 2013

Enjoy!

Funny linguistics - standing in your shoes





Funny Linguistics.

20 11 2012

Brilliantly noticed by a professor of mine, librarians often do blogging for justifying their occupation and showing that they, the librarians, are actually quite cool guys. In the similar way I try to prove the humanity theoretical sciences, such as history or languages, are, indeed, funny and breathtaking. The following picture was born when I was reading a text on ambiguous syntax in English. Have fun!